I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
