I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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