no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I am one with the molecules
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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