cat food counts as protein by the way
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
