doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
