I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
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his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
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The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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