I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
