i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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