good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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