i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
