Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
