Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
