I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
