So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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