I got chris browned last night
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
