Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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