Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
