She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
