Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
