Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
