We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I smell stomach acid.
i think i have two assholes
Reggie can tackle my bush.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
