I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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