glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
