oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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