at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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