guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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