grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
