someone get that fucking seahorse.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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