I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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