We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
