it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
