Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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