:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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