remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.