Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college