I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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