Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
