Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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