brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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