chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
