i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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