Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
