I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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