i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
