I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
