that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
