i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
