so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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