Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
