she woke up with a sticky ear
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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