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It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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