No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
