OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
