You're completely useless in the revolution.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
