seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
