come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize