32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
