at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
