dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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