They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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